Nothing Matters if We Become Zombies

It's Wednesday so we have to have a little fun. Plus, this might be the last post I ever write so I have to make it entertaining, right? We can talk about Treasuries, yields, stocks, interest rates, unemployment, job openings, or whatever else... but none of it will matter if we become zombies. That's right, today could be the last day of our lives as we know it.

If you're, I don't know, normal, and don't spend your days stalking the seediest corners of the internet populated by people who may or may not have any brain cells at all, then you probably don't even know what I'm talking about. Let me get you caught up. Today, the federal government of the United States will conduct a test of the Emergency Alert System at 2:20pm ET. That means that everyone's phone, regardless of the settings you have selected, will make that horrible screeching noise and display a message. This is perfectly reasonable in the event of a major disaster--nuclear war, terrorist attack, zombie invasion, Yellowstone volcano eruption--to make sure we all know we are going to die.

Now let's get wacky. Some people believe that this test will bombard us with a massive attack of 5G waves and combined with the millions of phones all making that sound will activate a virus, or a microchip, or melt our brains, or something. Then, the army of the walking dead will quickly spread across this great nation, turning the world into an apocalyptic wasteland. UNLESS you're one of the smart ones who wrap your phone in aluminum foil and place it inside your microwave, or place your phone in a Faraday cage/bag, in which case you will be spared from the zombie lifestyle and left to struggle to survive. So go ahead and smile while staring at your phone in your hand like the guy in the picture, it could be your last chance.

Godspeed to you all. I've read World War Z and The Zombie Survival Guide, I'll see you guys on the other side. Also, 14600 on NQ is the hand of God, so pay special attention each time we get down there.

The NQ levels for today (not that they matter because we'll all be transformed later anyway):

Current Price: 14780

Upside Targets: 14820, 14865, 14906, 14955

Downside Targets: 14740, 14680, 14633, 14600

Stretch: 14996, 14536